Mean

(I always have to post a photo, you know. Here is one from last year of Chad, Taylor, Nathan, Tim, and Nick that I found on her blog post from January 14, 2010. So thankful that Chad made THAT face on this one. Lovely, dear. Haha!)

There are some thoughts I've been wanting to share for awhile. Some might call it a rant. Some may just realize it's me wanting to get thoughts out onto a page. And then sharing it. You know, because it's what I like to do. Share.

I've wanted to write about this ever since Taylor Swift's new album, Speak Now, was released last year. There is this song of hers that hits me straight in the heart (like many of them somehow do)....and then at the end, it makes me want to chuckle. ; )

It reminds me of my childhood and my teenage years all rolled into one.

Remember those mean girls in school? Yep, we all do. And unfortunately, you might remember those mean girls from college, or the workplace, or somewhere else that you frequent at this age, too.

There are specific girls I remember. And unlike Taylor, no...I won't be naming names here. That's not my style. Even though I have daydreams of doing something like that. Thankfully, I'm all grown up now, and it doesn't hurt as much. But this song's lyrics bring their faces back each time I hear it. And since I'm all grown up, I can realize the truth to the words, and realize I'm in a much better place than all those girls.

(So there.)

There was the girl in grade school that would ask us where we purchased our clothes from. And if we didn't tell her...she would grab our shirt to see the tag for herself and make fun of us if it wasn't Gap or Ralph Lauren or something equally "acceptable" back then, in the 90s.

There was the girl in high school that would steal my brown bagged lunch out of my backpack every single day when I wasn't looking. Then she would leave notes in my locker saying "Yum. Tell your mommy that she packs a good lunch." (Evil, no?) I found out later that she was jealous of a friendship I had and just wanted to torture me. And it worked. Because I like to eat and we didn't have a cafeteria.

And there's the girl that all through high school and on into adult life is still talking trash about other people. (Really? Grow up, move on and try to enjoy your own life because that's what the rest of us are out here doing.)

There were more of these girls in my life, but I was smart enough to stay below their radar enough that it wasn't focused at me so much. (Did I mention that I went to a private Christian school? Mean girls are EVERYWHERE, I tell you!)

I have moved past it and I look back at their lives and sadly, I think, 'How pathetic. But how sad that they felt the need to build themselves up at the expense of others feelings.'

It's one of my worst fears as my children start school. I want my babies to feel welcomed and confident and part of the group, so they can be themselves. These are some of the reasons I've wavered on whether to start Maddox in Kindergarten this coming fall, because it's not just the mean girls. I also had the unfortunate opportunity of watching my little brother be picked on and made fun of in school by the mean BOYS, too. And when I think back on it, I secretly want to go kick their teeth in. What made them think they were so big? (P.S. We have finally decided to send Maddox this next year.)

After my experiences, I feel like it's our job at home to raise our children up and build their confidence in themselves without going overboard. It's our job to teach them the skills to properly deal with things like that...with grace. And love. And understanding. I have no problem teaching them these lessons at this early age. Making them realize why other kids act this way, so they can let it roll off their back as much as possible.

WE ARE OUR KIDS MAIN TEACHERS. Remember this.

So, back to the song. ; ) Written by a lyrical genius. I still don't know how she can make me, a 32 year old mother of two, relive the feelings, song after song, of my high school days. Brilliant!

Have you heard it? It's called "Mean." Here is Taylor, performing the song at last night's Academy of Country Music Awards. (We were supposed to go this year, but it didn't work out for our entire "group" to go, so we bowed out. It wouldn't have been the same without everyone there! But wow...I would have loved to have seen this performance live. It definitely would have made the tears flow. So proud of her!)

I leave you with this song as your thought for the day. ; ) Good day! Amanda

In case you can't understand all the lyrics, I have to include them below. They are perfection. ; )

Mean by Taylor Swift


You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me,
You, have knocked me off my feet again,
Got me feeling like I’m nothing.
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I’m wounded.
You, pickin’ on the weaker man.

Well you can take me down,
With just one single blow.
But you don’t know, what you don’t know,

Someday, I’ll be living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides,
And your walk by lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed out my flaws again,
As if I don’t already see them.
I walk with my head down,
Trying to block you out cause I’ll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again.

I bet you got pushed around,
Somebody made you cold,
But the cycle ends right now,
You can’t lead me down that road,
You don’t know, what you don’t know


Someday, I’ll be, living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

(My favorite part of the song is the bridge below. So true! Heehee ---Amanda)


And I can see you years from now in a bar,
Talking over a football game,
With that same big loud opinion but,
Nobody’s listening,
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things,
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can’t sing.

But all you are is mean,
All you are is mean.
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life,
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday, I’ll be, living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so ?
Someday, I’ll be, living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?